Redguard:Crendal

Crendal

Crendal is a Breton drunk who hangs around the Draggin Tale inn.

Dialogue

Idle

(If weapon drawn)

"Whoa! Eeeee-zee, mate! Guy could get hurt with that thing!"

"She floats through my dreams, with the greatest of ease... The fat, one-eyed lady with sweet-smelling knees..."

"Ey! Redguard! What about a drink?"

(He will also sing this song)

" 'A' is for the apes that date their mothers"

" 'B' is for the boils they pop for fun"

" 'C' is for the waters sailors sail on"

" 'D' is for the lumps upon their tongues"

" 'E' is for the eels they eat for breakfast"

" 'F' is for the fleas that swarm within their shorts"

" 'G' is for the grog they swill by gallons"

" 'H' is for the hairs upon their warts"

" 'I' is what they poke out with their fingers"

" 'J' is for the jerks they give on ropes"

" 'K' is for the kats [sic] they drown in bags"

" 'L' is for the love they give to goats"

" 'M' is for the marks of fifty lashes"

" 'N' is for their smarts, for they have none"

" 'O' is for the oceans they get lost in"

" 'P' is for their pox and scurvy gums"

" 'Q' is for the quakebutts fit for pounding"

" 'R' is wrong, and wrong they'll always be"

" 'S' is stinky, just like sailor's armpits"

" 'T' is for the ticks that eat their fleas"

" 'U' is for the urgent needs of manhood"

" 'V' is for the vegetables they won't eat"

" 'W' for weevils in their hardtack"

"Three letters and the Alphabet's complete"

" 'X's mark the spots on all their mapses"

" 'Y', Oh, why! We cry, must our song end?"

" 'Z', the zoanthropic girls of our hometowns"

"Now let's sing the whole damn Alphabet again! (Laughs) (Ta-Da-Dah)"

Greeting

(First Time)

Cyrus: "Name's Cyrus. You ok?"

"No. I'm Crendal."

(Every Other Time)

Cyrus: "Slow down, Crendal."

"Hey, Cy..wuss.(Laughs)"

(Or)

"Oh no. It's question boy."

Goodbye

Cyrus: "I've had enough."

"Good!"

Iszara

Cyrus: "You seen a woman named Iszara around?"

"Sure I have! Not that I remember names though...Oh, but they remember mine. Dem broads love Crendal...Have my way with'em all, ya know.(Laughs)"

League

Cyrus: "What do you know about the group called the Restless League?"

"Dem Punks. Killed'em all once I did. Bunch a Redguard Pansies..(Hiccup)..They want me to join'em, but I got too much thinkin' to do..Heavy load, I saaay! Richton's got it out for them. You watch out."

Stros M'Kai

Cyrus: "So, Stros M'Kai's one big party for you, eh?"

"Gotta drink to keep sane in this place. Dem sissies 'round here think they can make the best of it. They makin' nothing. Nooaathing [sic]. Richton's got'em all scared."

Draggin Tale

Cyrus: "You've certainly spent a lot of time at the local tavern."

"Richton's got that damned lizard, Dreekius, charging three gold pieces for lousy Valenwood wine! He freaks me out...Picking flies off the bar with his tongue. I can't relax with that ..(Hiccup), going on."

Richton

(Unlocked by "League")

Cyrus: "Richton doesn't have you scared?"

No sir. I kicked his fat butt. Not throwing me in his catacombs!

Catacombs

(Unlocked by "Richton")

Cyrus: "You're scared of the catacombs, eh?"

"Didn't say that. Did. Not. Say. That. Richton throws the Crowns in jail, and pirates into the catacombs. I ain't neither. Doubt his cronies could take me anyway."

Damned Lizard

(Unlocked by "Draggin Tale")

Cyrus: "Just like a drunk to blame the bartender for his troubles."

"Pahh! Who the (Hiccup) do you blame for yours anyway, tough guy? I know Dreekius' story...Just no one else does. Damn Argonians...! Dem Dark Elves got it right: cage'em up and let'em hawl [sic] ash!"

Cyrus: "Don't like Argonians either? Who do you like Crendal?"

"Fine then. Fine. Hang 'round that scaly bastard an' catch the Flu."

Cyrus: "There hasn't been a case of that in Two Hundred years."

"All I'm sayin', those of us play our cards right could open a right-good belt shop.(Laughs)"

Liquor Tax

(Unlocked by "Draggin Tale")

Cyrus: "Liquor Tax?"

"That's right! It's a real shock that sailors don't hang around anymore. He...He...Who's in charge of that one?"