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New Elder Scrolls Game Announced! — April 1, 2015

In a surprise announcement, Bethesda Softworks has revealed a new game set in the Elder Scrolls universe. This announcement, which is coming right off the coattails of Elder Scrolls Online dropping its subscription fee, has revealed that the yet-to-be-named game will be a return to the single player roots of the franchise.

"When we were brainstorming ideas for a new Elder Scrolls game, we came to the conclusion that we should really give the players what they've been asking of us for the past few years", said a Bethesda employee when asked for public comment. "We've really taken their wishes into consideration here. It was just clear that multiplayer was the wrong move to make."

The game will be less "goal oriented", according the the public announcement. It will not feature a traditional main quest, instead focusing on life in the world of Nirn rather than some overarching story. The game will also not center around one of the usual playable races, with it instead branching out towards one of the series' most beloved species. Executive producer Todd Howard commented on this non-traditional move: "Truthfully, we felt that we had a diamond in the rough on our hands for the last few games, but never struck at the opportunity to pursue it. But a new game means new chances, so with that said, I am proud to announce that the only playable race in the game will be the previously-ignored Mudcrab."

The game's core content will be centered around the Mudcrab lifestyle, customs, and culture. To bring home the day-to-day of the Mudcrab life, major innovations to previous games' swimming and relation mechanics have been made. Of particular interest is the newly expanded relationship system, which will allow for more "desired" interactions between the player and NPCs. Pete Hines had his thoughts to share on the new features for character relationships: "Really, all we did was look at what the community's modders were doing and copied that. In theory, we hoped this would truly provide a player-crafted experience provided by us. In practice, about 90% of the game's content will solely revolve around Mudcrab sex."

There is no scheduled release date for this game as of now, but it is planned for release on handheld, iOS, and Android devices. From your dedicated reporter, April Olof.