|Location||The Serpent's Wake|
|Available||Never (due to glitch)
|Faction(s)||Anvil - The Serpent's Wake; Anvil - Fo'c's'le; Anvil Citizen|
Hauls-Ropes-Faster is an Argonian pirate in the crew of The Serpent's Wake, which is currently docked in Anvil for refitting. Like the other crew from the ship, he spends his nights at The Fo'c's'le. He is supposed to be an advanced trainer in Athletics.
A true pirate in every sense of the word, Hauls-Ropes-Faster spends his nights partying and drinking and practically never sees the light of day. He sleeps the entire day away and doesn't get out of bed before 6pm, where he immediately enters The Flowing Bowl to eat and drink for six hours. When the clock strikes 12am he will either return to The Fo'c's'le or take a midnight stroll along the dockside. At 1am, he engages in a fist fight with fellow pirate Thurindil in front of the Harborside Warehouse. He keeps on fighting until 4am, when he will once again enter The Fo'c's'le for 2 hours of wandering around, before finally going to bed at 6am for a whopping 12 hours of sleep.
He is armed with an iron dagger and carries the key to Fo'c's'le as well as a small amount of gold. His attire consists of typical lower class clothing: an olive vest, a pair of oiled linen shoes and belted braies.
When you meet him for the first time, he will introduce himself; "They call me 'Hauls-Ropes-Faster'. I don't care. They can't pronounce my Black Marsh name, anyway." When asked about Anvil, he will imply that he offers training; "You are stupid if you come to chatter. If you want to train, and you pay me, then that is not so stupid." He shares the other residents' opinion of Thurindil; "Touched by the gods. He hears things. Who knows? He's happy... let him be."
Even though he doesn't offer any training himself, he can still provide you with the necessary reference for the Athletics Master Training quest. Once your athletics skill level reaches 70, speak to him, and choose the "training" option, which will trigger the quest as well as this dialogue: "I can't teach you anything you don't already know. But there is someone who might be able to... You'd never know it by looking at her, but Rusia Bradus did a lot of traveling in her younger days. She must have been in pretty good shape." When asked again, he will reveal that Rusia lives right there in Anvil: "You should track down Rusia Bradus in Anvil, and see if she can teach you anything more."
The other residents of Anvil can sometimes be heard talking about his athletic ability:
- "For someone who drinks so much, Hauls-Ropes-Faster is in peak physical condition. You could learn a lot from him."
- "Hauls-Ropes-Faster can run faster than anyone I've ever seen. Of course, he can't often walk a straight line."
- "He's an odd one. Drinks like a fish, but runs like a rabbit."
- "He's in great shape, that's for sure. Maybe he could teach me something about his training regimen."
- Athletics Training: Prove to an expert athlete that you are well-traveled enough to receive master training.
- He is defined as an advanced trainer but none of his AI packages allow him to offer services.
- This bug is fixed by the Unofficial Oblivion Patch.